Alan's RSS Feedhttp://www.rosewoodat5th.com/blog/index.htmlAlan & Joelenalan@rosewoodat5th.comCopyright 20052005-09-18T20:15:16-07:00 hourly 1 2000-01-01T12:00+00:00 Mon, 09 Jan 2006 00:16:16 -0800Archivesalan@rosewoodat5th.comAlan's Blogs2005-09-18T20:15:16-07:00http://www.rosewoodat5th.com/blog/page0/page0.html#unique-entry-id-139http://www.rosewoodat5th.com/blog/page0/page0.html#unique-entry-id-139BE sure to check out blog archives if you have not seen them!!]]>A Thing About Lovealan@rosewoodat5th.comAlan's Blogs2005-09-18T16:06:00-07:00http://www.rosewoodat5th.com/blog/page0/page0.html#unique-entry-id-138http://www.rosewoodat5th.com/blog/page0/page0.html#unique-entry-id-138The dumb thing about true love is... If you are loving truly and truthfully
the person will never know eighty percent of the things you did or said to
love them. And if someone is loving you truly you will never know half of
what they did or said for you. So it goes like it goes, and that is the
beauty of one and the possible pain of another.]]>messagealan@rosewoodat5th.comAlan's Blogs2005-08-09T15:18:00-07:00http://www.rosewoodat5th.com/blog/page0/files/archive-4.html#unique-entry-id-128http://www.rosewoodat5th.com/blog/page0/files/archive-4.html#unique-entry-id-128You have heard the gospel and for that I am thankful. Now I pray that none will be eaten by the desires of their flesh, but will turn to the spirit. As it says in Galatians - the spirit and the flesh are opposed to each other, so that we may not do as we please. But if we are under the rule of the Spirit we will be free from the law, and anyone in the spirit still abides by the rules of God. The life that is characterized by not getting your own way, a dialect of thanksgiving, all adultery and lust by the wayside, waiting for God's timing. The way of the flesh is idolatry - even human idolatry, lust, acting on lust, selfish desire, impurity, debauchery, sensuality, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, envying, drunkenness, carousing, greed, ill will, disobeying of authority, disrespect, filthy or dirty talk, silly talk. The way of the spirit is characterized by getting along with EVERYBODY, love, peace, patience, respect, kindness, goodness, self-control, joy, compassion, direction. The life I want, and want for everybody. The life we were meant to live. Imagine if I/we all stopped my/our dirty and silly mouths, and turned our language to the "dialect of thanksgiving" that would be a different kind of Christian. That is something to pray for. It is time to turn away from proclaiming an empty freedom from the law, all the while claiming rule of the way of the spirit - which should produce similar results as obeying the law, however more genuine - the only way to be free from the law is to be in the spirit, and if you are correctly in the spirit you will bear fruits. The difference is a change of heart, not the actions the law or spirit produce, then you will have freedom to do what is right. Freedom was never the ability to do wrong. Do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh. Lets distill the water out of modern Christianity, this is the time for living right. How can I put this another way: if we believe that God exists and what he tells us is true, than there is nothing more important on the earth than following him, wherever it leads. IT IS all of our business what each other do with our lives. IT IS the the body's responsibility to keep us in the light.]]>The Top Ten Reasons I Am Stupid...alan@rosewoodat5th.comAlan's Blogs2005-08-09T15:18:00-07:00http://www.rosewoodat5th.com/blog/page0/files/archive-4.html#unique-entry-id-123http://www.rosewoodat5th.com/blog/page0/files/archive-4.html#unique-entry-id-12310. I'm Human
09. I Paint a Picture of Myself to see, more than I am me
08. I Actually Worry About Being Loved
07. I Can't Decide if No. 8 is a bad thing
06. I'm selfish
05. I flirt with the easy road
04. I place too much faith in other people - idolatry
03. I plan things I cannot control
02. My speech is rarely thanksgiving
01. I have failed to help and/or rescue all of my friends and I will do it again

I need God. I will find him, no thing can keep me back.



Listening to ''Unplayed Piano (Chris Lord-Alge Mix)'', by Damien Rice & Lisa Hannigan (Play Count: 12)
Listening to ''The Blower's Daughter'', by Damien Rice (Play Count: 25)]]>Quotealan@rosewoodat5th.comAlan's Blogs2005-07-25T22:06:00-07:00http://www.rosewoodat5th.com/blog/page0/files/archive-3.html#unique-entry-id-122http://www.rosewoodat5th.com/blog/page0/files/archive-3.html#unique-entry-id-122
-Lady on National Geographic' Naked Science
]]>New Picturesalan@rosewoodat5th.comAlan's Blogs2005-07-01T10:35:00-07:00http://www.rosewoodat5th.com/blog/page0/files/archive-3.html#unique-entry-id-113http://www.rosewoodat5th.com/blog/page0/files/archive-3.html#unique-entry-id-113





Check out miscellaneous pictures from the last year and a half.
There are some good shots of nature and other pieces of our CA experience.
Located in the Photo Tab.







]]>If I had a wifealan@rosewoodat5th.comAlan's Blogs2005-06-23T14:30:00-07:00http://www.rosewoodat5th.com/blog/page0/files/archive-2.html#unique-entry-id-111http://www.rosewoodat5th.com/blog/page0/files/archive-2.html#unique-entry-id-111
So there it is I have come clean. I need help.


]]>Earthquakealan@rosewoodat5th.comAlan's Blogs2005-06-14T10:17:00-07:00http://www.rosewoodat5th.com/blog/page0/files/archive-2.html#unique-entry-id-106http://www.rosewoodat5th.com/blog/page0/files/archive-2.html#unique-entry-id-106

-------------------------------------------

It happens with such regularity you would think it was scheduled. When I want to do good, or act on something in the right way, I cant do it. I want to, doing the right thing is appealing, and rightly so, but something in me says no. Its as if there is a hold out, an old man, I need obedience, or freedom, the law or some better form of spirituality. If I cant do it on my own who can save me? I want to live each day in the best way, but obviously not all of me agrees.

Romans 7

Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, on the one hand I myself with my mind am serving the law of God, but on the other, with my flesh the law of sin. Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death.

For what the Law could not do, weak as it was through the flesh, God did: sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and as an offering for sin, He condemned sin in the flesh, so that the requirement of the Law might be fulfilled in us, who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.


But it is still not cut and dry, and I want that on some level.


]]>Junealan@rosewoodat5th.comAlan's Blogs2005-06-01T14:36:00-07:00http://www.rosewoodat5th.com/blog/page0/files/archive-2.html#unique-entry-id-98http://www.rosewoodat5th.com/blog/page0/files/archive-2.html#unique-entry-id-98
It feels like I am either chasing money, or it is chasing me.

Summer is here, the distinct season of fun and freedom. An anniversary of; The Little Shop of Horrors play, 3 years ago now. 4 Years ago when we/I became friends with Maggie for the first time. 2 years ago when the Ritchies lived in Big Rock, and Maggie came back from England. Last year when we/I came back for Christina's wedding, also Brigit Noah's wedding too. Walks in the Big Rock cemetery. John Roth's birthday and the parties. Coffee houses. Going to the McAlister's. Fires at the Gogot's in the early summer. Getting to know Annemarie and Megan for the first time after the play 3 years ago, and hanging out with the Frosts. 4th of July last year at the lake house in Sandwich, clapping at fireworks. Going to the beach last year with Chet in California. Big Rock again, the quarry and walks. Downtown Wheaton. Fields. Thunderstorms in Big Rock, on the porch. Ughhh. It is all beautiful. So even though it may be hot and humid. Enjoy your summer, you crazy kids.

]]>New Picturesalan@rosewoodat5th.comAlan's Blogs2005-05-26T23:03:00-07:00http://www.rosewoodat5th.com/blog/page0/files/archive-1.html#unique-entry-id-97http://www.rosewoodat5th.com/blog/page0/files/archive-1.html#unique-entry-id-97Quotablealan@rosewoodat5th.comAlan's Blogs2005-05-20T22:02:00-07:00http://www.rosewoodat5th.com/blog/page0/files/archive-1.html#unique-entry-id-90http://www.rosewoodat5th.com/blog/page0/files/archive-1.html#unique-entry-id-90
"A ship is safe in harbor, but that's not what ships are for."

--William Shedd--


"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."

--Mark Twain--

The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity.

--Albert Einstein--


]]>Dumb Lovealan@rosewoodat5th.comAlan's Blogs2005-05-05T14:55:00-07:00http://www.rosewoodat5th.com/blog/page0/files/archive-1.html#unique-entry-id-85http://www.rosewoodat5th.com/blog/page0/files/archive-1.html#unique-entry-id-85
Brash, not much tact, I made videos when I was upset about love, further hurting the person I claimed to love, but I was also willing to risk more, I was less calculated, less protective of my love than I am now.

Dumb love, love so stupid that it has no limit. So stupid it writes poems named things like "Heaven Scent"<----not a typo. It asks people to banquets, even when they told them not to. It trusts, and believes in good more than it is afraid of being hurt.

God loves this way, he sent his only son, to die, to save us. Sounds dumb. It must have seemed that way at the time. Floods, plagues, even wrath, choice, Israel, life, nature, and beauty, it all sounds so reserved.

Of course making a video that hurt someone and God's love are nothing alike. His love is dumb, but it never hurts.

So I should love like that. Dumb and patient, never unkind. The best of both worlds, childish and wise. Wanting the best. Overflowing, because I've been poured into so much.

I am wondering if I haven't given up dumb love, because it is too much, too childish, and might seem too strong to the people it is given too. God isn't that calculating, he is generous.

I should be too.

Just something I have been thinking about today.

P.S. People in Illinois look at the weather forecast, you are livin' warmer than us!! Also notice the nice looking weather forecast in the new Mac OS 10.4
weather]]>Take a minute, hour, or monthalan@rosewoodat5th.comAlan's Blogs2005-05-02T23:24:00-07:00http://www.rosewoodat5th.com/blog/page0/files/archive-1.html#unique-entry-id-72http://www.rosewoodat5th.com/blog/page0/files/archive-1.html#unique-entry-id-72
Life is to fast.

Life is rushed onto us. It comes and it goes, we have too many choices and we often make the wrong one. Drive faster on the freeway, watch 300+ channels of TV. Get higher speed internet, faster computers, shorter sermons, quicker previews. Better, more, faster.

And so we handle our problems the same way. We are well trained. We need quicker response to our problems. So we pray harder, which usually means more demanding, and hope our short/concise time, will yield faster results.

We ask our friends or parents for advice.
But we need the answers now.

Next time something comes up I am going to take it slow. Praying longer, waiting for a response, the wise answer comes with time.

Next time you need advice or someone asks you to give them advice.

STOP.



Well the sun rose, with so many colors,
it nearly broke my heart
suntoo
]]>May 2ndalan@rosewoodat5th.comAlan's Blogs2005-05-02T14:36:00-07:00http://www.rosewoodat5th.com/blog/page0/files/archive-1.html#unique-entry-id-68http://www.rosewoodat5th.com/blog/page0/files/archive-1.html#unique-entry-id-68
-Thanks Citibank

My kind of love is an ugly love, but it is real and it lasts a long long time.

It has been a year since I left Illinois to move. Wow.

]]>WE KNOW NOTHING OF LOVEalan@rosewoodat5th.comAlan's Blogs2005-04-27T22:26:00-07:00http://www.rosewoodat5th.com/blog/page0/files/archive-0.html#unique-entry-id-61http://www.rosewoodat5th.com/blog/page0/files/archive-0.html#unique-entry-id-61I'm just pretty good at pretending.]]>Independence, eBay, and Color Screensalan@rosewoodat5th.comAlan's Blogs2005-04-27T13:36:00-07:00http://www.rosewoodat5th.com/blog/page0/files/archive-0.html#unique-entry-id-55http://www.rosewoodat5th.com/blog/page0/files/archive-0.html#unique-entry-id-55
id4

Today in History:
04/27 Louis Victor de Broglie born, 1774, physicist
04/27 Magellan killed in Philippines, 1521
04/27 Independence Day in Togo
04/27* Omer 30th day
04/27* Parashat Emor
04/27 Freedom Day in South Africa]]>Responsealan@rosewoodat5th.comAlan's Blogs2005-04-20T19:30:00-07:00http://www.rosewoodat5th.com/blog/page0/files/archive-0.html#unique-entry-id-43http://www.rosewoodat5th.com/blog/page0/files/archive-0.html#unique-entry-id-43This is a response to my moms reaction to the blog entry from April 8th.

Mom I am not trying to convince you that I love you or respect you, because I could make that case, and it wouldn't matter, if you don't want to believe it.

Calling me a coward and claiming that I am living a lie seem like a little much to pull out of that blog entry. I am not living any lies, to respect someone doesn't mean that you don't question them, I can respect you and ask these questions at the same time. I can love you and ask these questions at the same time. I am not living a lie either as proofed by the date, this was on April 8th, and I said I have trouble loving my family which I explained two nights ago as well. That in the end is the whole point of that blog entry, it is expounding on the idea that I have these concerns for you and dad, but cannot love you enough to help change them.

I acknowledge in the blog that I do not have it all figured out, I said that I am praying about these things, showing that I understand my need for a higher power than me. These thoughts are genuine concern not hopeless desolation and anger towards you and dad. When I said there is not much I can do on my own I am saying that I want to do something, whether or not I have the power to do it. I am not simply angry, or angry at all, I am sad that life isn't as open and free as it was meant to be for you and dad.

The presupposition that my blog entry of April the 8th is vitriolic is false. For instance in the paragraph cited in your response you quote the beginning of the sentence "At times I wonder...". If I was truly angry or am so convinced of your depravity, I would not wonder at times, I would say I always think that. This brings me to why the whole blog entry is not a spiteful address but rather a thought process written out. The statements were not concrete like an encyclopedia, but were frustrations, not pent up feelings.

The whole language of the blog entry lends itself to this being a reality, when I said "It is hard not to think 'why are you complaining ...'" or "It is hard to become a man..." I wasn't saying "I always think 'why are you complaining'" or "I cannot become a man...". What I am trying to do is get you to see the way it was written, so that you can understand it isn't angry, but questioning.

It is because I respect you and dad that I ask these questions, who would ask such things about someone they don't respect or care for. If you don't respect someone you could care less what they do in/with their lives. It also disturbs me that you would question my faith, asking how I am even a christian. I never questioned your salvation, I only said sometimes I wonder why you are a christian. Which is a valid question.

In relation to the money comments, I never said that you and dad don't pay for a lot of things, I am grateful for all you give to us, what I was thinking about was the attitude towards the things you pay for as being a burden or caring about the possessions themselves to much. Having financial responsibilities doesn't absolve you from your attitude about money, it is a gift from God, it can be given, and taken away, and it will not change your soul.

I do not have to admit that you and dad helped me with my bike trip or that you are a christian, because I never said you didn't follow God in relation to my bike trip, and I never said you were not christians. There are various levels of christian and we are all in a separate place on the road.

The reason this is on the internet is so my friends can read it, as we all discuss things we want to learn from our parents weaknesses, or past mistakes. I also wrote this out so that it could be seen and I could think it without being judged, and not listened to. My friends all know you and dad and they all love you guys too. So it is not as if they think you are some ridiculous person because of this. I am also having trouble understanding your response seeing as though I criticized dad the most in the entry, including standing up for you at one point.

I hope this helps you to understand the true nature of the blog entry. As far as love and respect go, that is a decision you have to make, I can't convince you of it. You have to decide if you can forgive any misunderstandings and turn instead towards finding/accepting the truth about how I feel towards you.

A good place to start is the walls of your office.]]>A Simple Thoughtalan@rosewoodat5th.comAlan's Blogs2005-04-17T23:22:00-07:00http://www.rosewoodat5th.com/blog/page0/files/archive-0.html#unique-entry-id-35http://www.rosewoodat5th.com/blog/page0/files/archive-0.html#unique-entry-id-35Listening to ''She's Always A Woman To me'', by Billy Joel (Play Count: 12)

As short as two weeks in Illinois was, spending only 12 hours with Maggie and various other Ritchies plus Kathy, was even shorter. But it was good/fun/exciting/needed/lovely to see her/them.

sig2

-Alan]]>Sweet Home Chicago (UPDATED x2)alan@rosewoodat5th.comAlan's Blogs2005-04-08T18:16:00-07:00http://www.rosewoodat5th.com/blog/page0/files/archive-0.html#unique-entry-id-4http://www.rosewoodat5th.com/blog/page0/files/archive-0.html#unique-entry-id-4Coming back to LA has been more depressing than I anticipated. It is hard to explain all of the different aspects of what is different between the two places, but the most glaring difference is that Chicago, with all of the people there I know, is dripping with love, but not love towards me, even though that is there, just love, a communal love. An affection for people, besides me, and an affection for things and places that have nothing to do with me. I only make this distinction because I do not want you to think that I like it better, because it is satisfying due to me recieving love. Maybe there is so much love there because it is an over flowing of God's love for us! Also it is not just the fact that I know people in Chicago, but more the people themselves. LA is not dripping. Of course I am not referring to the city because it is hard for a city to love anything. It's good to know however, more than ever before, where my home is. Home could be in LA too, but it is all dependent on the people. Not that there aren't good people in LA.

Within minutes of getting out of the airport my parents were doing this little bickering thing with each other, it is quite clear my dad has no idea what my mom needs. It is her birthday and he thinks she doesn't need anymore beautiful jewelry because she already has so much of it from over the years. Little does he know, all she hears is you are not beautiful enough for beautiful things. HERE HAVE A FRYING PAN (NO JOKE).

I think that I could love my family one day but right now i just need to breathe away from them and fill up with love, instead unintentionally being filled with cynicism and greed. I am praying about all of these things because, there is not much i can do on my own.

But is it worth it for me to be around? There is not much I can do on my own.

Then my dad complains about the financial situation of our family, and it is hard not to think, "why are you complaining, it is your household, you have the ability to change it for the better." It is hard for me to become a man, when my dad so consistently acts like a boy. Kicking and screaming, turning limp so that life cannot move him. At times I wonder why my parents are christians, they do not believe the promise of the gospel. Money means so much to them, it is the end of the world if a car gets scratched. Step out of the darkness into light! I just can't figure it out, they lead bible studies, they lead bible studies? Being a christian has not seeped into their lives, their everyday lives, and I wonder do they believe so that they may be saved from hell, and that is all. But if you are saved from hell than why would you live like you don't know the saviour?

There are things that I learned in the last 12 days, that are sliding away in this environment. Most of all there is a community of Christ at home, at Res. It is LA for now, but here is to you sweet home chicago. :-)

sig2

-Alan

Today in History:
04/07 IBM announces System/360, 1964
04/07 Albert Hofmann synthesizes LSD in Switzerland, 1943
04/07 Alewives run, Cape Cod
04/07* Omer 10th day]]>Blog Testalan@rosewoodat5th.comAlan's Blogs2005-04-06T11:03:00-07:00http://www.rosewoodat5th.com/blog/page0/files/archive-0.html#unique-entry-id-1http://www.rosewoodat5th.com/blog/page0/files/archive-0.html#unique-entry-id-1I am trying out this blog thing, seeing how it works.
If I like it, and all of that stuff.

The Elms new music!!!

Today in History:
04/06 Joseph Smith founds Mormon Church, 1830
04/06 Chakri Memorial Day in Thailand
04/06 Victory Day in Ethiopia
04/06* Omer 9th day
04/06* Parashat Shemini
04/06* Shabbat Mevarekhim]]>